We're Not in Kansas Any More…

April 22, 2009

You know how there’s this thing about life where you start thinking that, hey, its ok if you compromised a little here, shaved an edge off a little there. The years sort of pass by and suddenly, you look up and check out where you are and you’ve strayed so damned far from what is truly important to you because you were sidetracked by the little things.

Its a slippery slope, my friends.

So, all my life, I’ve only dreamt of moving overseas. To pursue a career in something. What was important to me was contributing to the world. Maybe in education, maybe in health services, maybe in some sort of economic or governmental policy planning. What was important to me was not getting sidetracked into security like so many of my peers in this country but to get out and to help. And yet, somehow, I’ve managed to get sidetracked.

I never managed to do my UNESCO internship in Thailand, nor the Hendrich Boll foundation internship. I never took any steps towards becoming a Kiva Fellow. Neither did I ever finish learning ASL and volunteered with the association for the deaf here. Instead, I compromised and settled for staying in Singapore, and to make up for being disappointed in it and the insecurity attached to being here, I looked for a career to make up for it.

Now, I’m not saying I don’t like my career path now. My line of work now is great and I love every second of it, even the difficult parts that make me want to skewer something with a pen. Yet at the same time, I am fully aware that this is not how I want my life to be. Maybe a few months ago, this would have been the perfect path for me because a few months ago, my whole life looked set to be in Singapore. But now, I’m no longer constrained by the fact that I will be in Singapore forever. And I find that I still do want, more than ever, to head overseas to Canada. It won’t be immediate, because I still love my job now and want to stay in it for a while more. But I’ll definitely be putting things into place so I can get the mechanics for the move working. And I’m excited because my life is finally going the way I want it to.