Is your pooch a little bit lonely when you leave it alone at home? Perhaps Lucky hasn’t been neutered and has developed the nasty habit of humping everything that moves and doesn’t move. Or maybe you just want something kicky to leave in the corner of your living room and happen to have a spare 149 Euros lying around. Well, how about a Hotdoll?

Or rather, as the website so kickily puts it on my browser tab – Hotdoll: Sex Toy for Dog.

Dude, yeeees. Want to see what it looks like??

Oui!! Le sex toy pour chiens!

Do I know how it works? Not really, but the little silicone cone they sell as spare parts on their shop should give you an idea.

I guess its a pretty cool thing to leave in the house. Just as long as the sweet little doggie doesn’t start using it in front of guests. Unless your guests are anything like Mich and I, in which case, they’d probably burst out cackling and start trying to hunt out dirty jokes suitable to the occasion.

Oh and by the way? Props to Alex for sniffing this one out. Hee!

School bans pupils from sending Valentine cards: report

A school has banned its pupils from sending cards on Valentine’s Day, saying the youngsters are not mature enough for romance, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

Ashcombe Primary School — which teaches students aged four to 11 — has threatened to confiscate any cards found on the premises in Somerset, said the Times.

- By Agence France-Presse

A DESK! I HAVE A DESK AT LAST! GOOD LORD I HAVE MISSED HAVING A DESK! I CAN WRITE ON IT, PUT MY LAPTOP ON IT, PUT COFFEE MUGS ON IT, ITS SPACE! I HAVE SPACE SPACE SPACE!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, toning it down a little. I’ve moved into my room, not everything is unpacked yet, I have focused on the two most important things to my sanity. A set up desk and a set up bathroom. Everything neatly put into little plastic containers, drawers, shelves, given their own particular spot to go to. Ahhhhh. Space and tidiness. For a slob, I really do tend towards being a neat freak. And SPACE!!! OH GOOD LORD, I HAVE SPACE!

Don’t judge me, ya’ll. You’d appreciate having a proper desk after almost 2 years of not having one.

2. I borrowed my mom’s iPod Nano and the bloody thing has taken to producing nothing but static noise as long as I plug my earphones in. No music just non stop static noise until I unplug my earphones and even then, I suspect it goes on. Anyone know how to fix this?

3. I’ve shot two pieces of furniture that MUST BE SOLD from our house before I go insane from clutter. If you or someone you know love Chinese pieces, check them out here. Listed prices are negotiable as long as they’re reasonable. I just need to get rid of these.

4. My bed might be set up in a very unfortunate position. If that happens, I might need to move outta this house.

Anyway, work in half an hour. Toddles doo!

Also crazier yet, I’m considering studying the physics involved in dance and sports. As a second bachelor’s degree. We all see where this is going. I’ve got a textbook on Newton’s Laws and its proving to be interesting but I’m not really THAT bright. More on that when the ninja army is ready.

But anyway, I am stressed. Streesed in the hugest way possible which usually involves the use of salt and candles to get rid of the negative vibes that stress brings into my life. When I crank out the candles and the moon phases, you know it’s gotta be pretty bad. So I’m not really gonna blog too much for a while. Which means I am going to hork you this link to Dooce so you can check out the cute. Because that cute is pretty darn squeeable and might actually help bring your blood pressure down a few points if you are anywhere as stressed as I am. And if you aren’t stressed, well, its just DAMNED CUTE anyway.

Enjoy.

(And if your current source of stress is over your kid’s PSLE math paper this year, might I suggest not giving a hot damn about it because, 1. the PSLE is graded on a bell curve and 2. if your kid is worried they won’t be able to predict whether they’re getting an A* or not, it’d do them some good to learn to cope with unpredictability in life. Oh and 3. if you’re experiencing what was described in point no. 2. it’d be good for you to learn to cope with some unpredictability in your life too.)

So that Saturday night, we ended up at Brewerkz for not too stellar food and beer but absolutely stellar company.

Man of the Hour: Anders. With a salad, he puts all of us to shame health-wise.

The many faces of Michelle Verma:

“Beer is very, very good for you. Makes your liver cry out for pity. After your tastebuds do too!” (Anyone figure that I don’t enjoy beer that much?)

Two mad women, sitting at dinner. =D

Probably the sanest of us all. Melissa wondering “What am I doing here with these two lunatics?”

Pretty but rather heavy on the palate crab pasta in what I’d swear is pesto.

Michelle up to her old tricks of pole dancing on architecture again.

Now she’s doing it on humans too.

Another night with the Bawdy Bunch. YAY!!!

At the Chocolate Bar, looking perfectly angelic before we got down to ingesting more rocket fuel of our choice: Chocolate and Caffeine! The chocolate tart comes HIGHLY recommended, btw, its got a crisp, nutty crust with a rich chocolate filling and super smooth, luscious chocolate ganache topping it. I washed that and the blackforest cake down with an espresso.

Blackforest cake! With LOADS of cream and liquored up cherries. YUM! Although the others didn’t quite like it as much. Must admit, next to the tart it looks and tastes like health food.

Anders got fascinated by the lion. What’s it’s name? Singa? No idea. Anyway, he had to have his picture taken with smiley over here and as usual, things got a little out of hand with us.

We got a VERY, VERY amused Japanese tourist to snap a photo of us with the lion. By the time he was done, we were laughing so hard the guy started laughing with us too. Thanks dude!

And finally, me next to Anders, trying not to look a complete dwarf.

It was yet another superb night with my fellow Bawdies. The only problem was Will being missing and all (DUDE, where the hell are you? Come back and visit!!) but we had a terrific night out. Its such a pity we’re all just getting more and more scattered around the world. But that just makes outings together fun.

I am such a genius. While making French toast for tomorrow’s breakfast, I plunked the bread into the hot fat of the pan so hard, a splodge of boiling fat landed on my hand. Which of course means now, I have a HUGE SPOOKY BLISTER. Filled with liquid on my hand.

Yes, lets recap that. I now have a BUBBLE filled with LIQUID on my hand. Because I’ve pretty much FRIED my skin.

Genius.

But anyway, back to the photo above. Apart from splashing hot fat on myself, another thing I like doing (in fact, like doing ALOT more) is to go around taking photos of random artwork on stickers in places people usually don’t notice. That one up there and the one to follow were taken at Haji lane on a wall. I love the marker drawings.

There’s something extremely playful about finding something like that when you least expect it. On the lamp-post you’re waiting at, on the pillar behind the bus stop. The usuals.

Makes me want to keep my eyes open more.

And cute is what we all need to get through the crazy work week, even if I do still object to consuming Evian and bottled water in a developed nation on principle.